Restoring My Faith in the Universe

Yesterday, as Mary and I were driving back to Charlotte after our annual escape from Mullet-palooza, we were passed by a guy in a BMW doing about 90 — alternately tailgating and swerving between lanes in his quest to be the biggest asshat on the road.

You rarely see the karmic wheel respond so quickly to bad behavior, but 5 miles up the road, there was Mr. Beamer, parked on the shoulder after being pulled over by the highway patrol. Balance was restored, and there was much jubilation.

What Kerry Said

John Kerry may botch a joke from time to time, but this phrasing of the issue is the best I've seen to date: "we support the troops by getting the policy right." Damn straight.

Whatever else one might say about the Supplemental that Congress is sending to Bush, it doesn't get the policy right. It's likely that it's not possible to get the policy right in Iraq with Bush as President, but I wish the Democrats had tried a little harder. I don't think the leadership really understands how unpopular Bush is and how much America hates this war.

Friday Cat Blogging

I just love spending sunny days in the window.

Wartime Consigliere

First of all, Gonzales is a dick. Showing up at Ashcroft's hospital bed in 2004 to pressure him to change his mind about the domestic spying program's legality is just a crappy thing to do.

Second, he was a clueless dick. Because Ashcroft was incapacitated, he had made his deputy acting AG. Ashcroft didn't actually have the authority to sign off on anything.

Third, he was a dick for no reason. When Ashcroft wouldn't sign off on the program, the President just went ahead with it anyway. If they didn't think they needed Ashcroft's OK, why bother with the heavy-handed theatrics?

Few people are more skeptical of this administration's motivations than I am, but even so, I was a little stunned as I learned about this sordid episode. Just read the whole thing.

PS: Yes, Card is a dick, too, but something tells me that Gonzales enjoyed it more.

Jerry Falwell

He's dead. He was a bad person.

Enough said.

Lack of Imagination

Tonight on 60 Minutes, Mitt Romney said: "…I must admit I can't imagine anything more awful than polygamy."

Really? Nothing at all? I must admit I can't imagine anything more ridiculous than that statement.

Popularity Contest

The list of the most popular baby names for 2006 is out, and once again, "Eric" takes a hit — down from 66 to 77. "Mary" also didn't do well, dropping 12 spots to 84. Sarah, my sister's name, stayed put at 15, and more importantly, soundly beat the H-less version. "John", my father's name, dropped a couple of slots to 20. "Caledonia", our cat's name, hasn't cracked the top 1000 ever. "Mary" and "John" are former number ones; the best "Eric" ever did was 13 for a 4-year stretch in the 1970s; and "Sarah" peaked at 3 in 1993.

Friday Cat Blogging

Sometimes you have to kill the rats, but sometimes you just need to keep an eye on them.

The Vision Thing

DC Mayor Adrian Fenty is bent on taking control of the District's school system. He's got the vision and he's got the plan — and he got them both from Charlotte.

Mayor Adrian M. Fenty's administration copied significant portions of its education strategy verbatim from a plan developed by a North Carolina school system, even as the mayor seeks to show he has the vision and expertise to restructure governance of the District's troubled public schools.

Fenty's 31-page document is a blueprint of his plans to improve students' academic performance. It contains passages that are virtually identical to some in the Charlotte-Mecklenburg schools' strategic plan — including the opening statement describing the administration's vision. Fenty's document was submitted to the D.C. Council in late February in support of his proposal to take control of the public schools.

Now, I don't know if the Charlotte plan is any good or not, but if you're going to claim to be able to do what others have tried to do and failed, the least that people can expect is that you can think for yourself. And to let an aide take the fall for this "mistake" only means you care more about covering your ass than you do about your "bold initiative."

"It's in the Hole!"

Friday and Saturday I found myself at the Wachovia Championship, Charlotte's stop on the PGA tour. This was the third time I've gone and, as always, I had a great time.

Friday I went with my father. It was a little cold and rainy, but better that than clear skies and 90. We ended up having some pretty good luck, too. We parked ourselves along the 4th fairway when we arrived, and sure enough, 20 minutes later, Tiger was on the tee. His tee shot landed about 20 feet directly in front of us. By this time, his army had descended, but we were able to hold on to our spot along the rope line. Tiger then proceeded to hit a 150-year pitching wedge to within 6 feet of the hole, and made the putt for birdy. Pretty sweet.

Most of Friday was spent walking the course. Saturday, however, I went with my friend Jerry and we camped the whole time behind the 8th green. We were able to see most of the players' approach shots, and had an excellent look at their putts. I'll have to remember this spot next year.

Of course, not liking people all that much, there were plenty of annoyances because of the large crowds. Here are five reminders for some of the ruder patrons I saw:

1. If you're smoking a big cigar in the middle of a large crowd of spectators, that doesn't make you sophisticated — it makes you an ass.
2. If you're drunk and keep humming porno music and saying "There goes the herd" every time a group of women walk by, you probably have a very hard time getting laid.
3. If you're standing in a two-minute line for the restrooms and spend those two minutes bitching about how unfair it is that you can't use the handicapped bathroom, you are an ignorant and insensitive bastard.
4. If you bring your kids to the tournament and they start making fart noises as players are getting ready to tee off, you probably need to rethink a few decisions.
5. If you are the only people talking in a 50-yard radius, get the message and shut the hell up.

Voltron Gets Served

I was doing a little work for my day job involving Google Video when I came across this clip:

I was a fan of the Voltron cartoon back in the 80s, and the first thing you learn about the show is that Voltron should form the "Blazing Sword" at the start of the fight and immediately kill the Robeast. But no… Voltron always waits until he's gotten the shit kicked out of him before going for the quick-and-easy winning move.

Once again, Voltron would have done well to dispatch the Robeast before the contest got started, because this Robeast has the moves and totally pwnes Voltron. Kind of embarrassing, really.